You fell in love with a nut.

I love you more than can be expressed other than

by shining my love on you day after day after day after day after day…

then maybe you’ll understand how I feel about you and how

beautifully I have resolved to treat you day after day after day after day…

Every day that passes, you’ll understand more and more how I love you.

But how will I understand YOU, Dear?

I choose you, because I have no choice…Love did not give me that option.

I just got into trouble.

I spoke of Love as an entity. Capital “L”

Love has been summoned.

-Love here.

-Hey, Love, what’s up?

-Not, much. What’s up with you? Just kidding. I can tell what’s up, dumbass. I brought you two together. Want some advice?

-Ummmm, ok.

-Get a pen, stupid.

So Love told me how to treat you today.

A portion of the message from Love:

“Treat her like diamonds, gold and pearls.

Treat her like water, seeds and soil.

Treat her like flesh, wood and fire…”

Love went on and on in weird triplets.
And I wrote it all down.
I got a hand cramp.

Love can really go off. Did a little singing. Very emotional.

And then at the very end, Love told me, (and this is funny, because it really shows how Love has a weird way of doing things)
“Now forget all those things. Treat her beyond what all those tired metaphors deserve, respect and might accomplish.”

So I told Love:

“I can’t believe you made me write all that shit down, you bastard…that’s a creative exercise you got there. But seriously, I don’t know of anything precious enough to compare her to – and to then treat her like. The only thing she is like, is herself.”

Love laughed at me and said, “Wow. I remember when you told her that the first time. That’s pretty romantic. You really have it in you.Want a job? Just kidding. But now you understand, Max. Discover her. If she is like nothing or anyone else – find out who she is and then you’ll know how to treat her.”

I laughed and told Love, “What? Find out? Like today? Hello? Love? Love? You there?”

No answer. Love waits for no man. Or is that Time?

-Time here. What’s up?

-Can we talk later? I am trying to write a love-letter to her.

-Word. I’m pretty fucking busy ,too, as you can imagine.

-I think I can. I’ll call on you later. I have a lot of questions.

-Later. Later. Never before. Rarely now. A ha ha. Inside joke.. Rarely now…love that one. No, but, what is wrong with you people? There is way more Time before, than later. Why can’t we talk before?

-OOO. There’s more Time before, than later? That sounds bad. Are we in trouble?

-Read the papers? Bush? Global warming? Beyond that, ever heard of the the “big crunch”? Get with it. The expansion of the universe is NOT accelerating. Yah, it’s expanding, but it’s slowing down. I told Hawking that two years ago, he’s keeping it to himself. Bitter, secretive, man. Oh shit, that the time...again? Gotta go.

So I want to discover who you are, Ray- to truly understand you.

But now also, I understand why I want to understand you.

Because then I will know how to treat you and how to love you.
I suspect I will realize that I must treat you with Ultimate Understanding in order to to discover you.

It’s a bit of a loop.

-Ultimate Understanding here, sorry I’m late. I visiting a mental institution.

-Crap.

-What? You called on me.

-No I didn’t, I just wrote “Ultimate Understanding” in caps. I didn’t know you were even an entity!

-Well I am. Problem is, no one ever, really ultimately understands me. Except for, ahem, psychotic people. Or elightenend ones. Kinda depend on how you cope with the information. Ironic, no? By the way, did you buy UltimateUnderstanding.com last year?

-Yah. I was was pretty high at the time. Haven’t done anything with it. But now I have some ideas.

-I bet. Well, I want it.

-Too bad. Why don’t you buy it off me, hoss?

-I’m Ultimate Understanding, I don’t have money. Money is like poison to me. That’s part of ultimate understanding.

-I know.You’re fucked. Wait! Isn’t “ownership” antithetical to ultimate understanding too?? Why would you want to own domain name?

- I was testing you. Good work. Shit. We should talk more.

-Oh. Ok. I bet I could learn a lot from you. You’re pretty understanding, huh?

-I understand I’m understanding. You don’t have to tell me. In fact, I understand that you understand that I understand I’m understanding. And so on, forever, until you never get there and it turns out that you are understanding, or beginning to understand understanding just for understanding that very fact. But I will always be more understanding. I’m Ultimate Understanding…I can help you realize that…or come close. No one ever gets the cigar. Actually, there is no cigar. I already smoked it. If you ever reach ultimate understanding, you simply go insane or become enlightened. Either way way, it's ineffable. Kinda lonely, yet serene. Unless you just can't cope with it, then it's just lonely and completely terrifying. Tell you about it later, and how to achieve that peacefully horrific or horrifically peaceful place. . It has to do with nearly stopping T-i-m-e and having every single possible thought almost instantaneously. It's excruciatingly relaxing. But you realize what’s REALLY going on. Up to it?

-Not right now.

-I understand, but that's all the T-i-m-e you'll need.

If you think I am treating and loving you OK now, then I must have some understanding of you already.

OK?!
So my goal is ultimate understanding of you.
But I understand that is not possible, as you are a dynamic force that will forever change and grow.

There is who you were, who you are and who you are becoming.
Ultimately, you’ll never “ulti-mate” (I turned “ultimate” into a verb, there, and actually think it’s never been done before, so I am calling Oxford later)

I can only conclude:

I can’t arrive at ultimately understanding you, but I can approach it. Fine.
I can’t choose to discover you, as you discover yourself and as you discover how you, yourself, wish to be treated/loved. Love’s making me do it.

I can ask you to show me how to do that.
I feels really good to ask you to do that.
Will you show me?

And it’s the best feeling in the world, because I finally know something true:
I know something I can never tell you, and you know something you can never tell me.

Oh sure, you and I can say it all day long and write love letters and songs and paintings and try to “figure out” Love itself, and in some small way, by doing this, we show each other.
But really, I know something I can only ever show you by continually showing you.

It could take a while.
Have some Time?
Wanna see?

-Wanna here.

-YOU, wanna, are not an entity; “wanna” is turn of phrase. Short for “want to”.
It was capitalized because it was the first word in a fragmented sentence. Not a proper noun, like a name or place.
You are totally off base.

-Fine, I’m going back to watch Oprah.

-Oprah here. This is very expensive, you know, summoning me. This bold italicized will cost you. But, I brought you this Microwave…

-I didn't summon you, Oprah. Wanna did.

-I thought you said I wasn't an entity.-You summoned Oprah. You must be one now. Also she'll be billing you. I suggest you pay her. Otherwise, even though she is filthy rich, she'll sue.

- Time here. Sorry I was tardy. Had a meeting with Money. Turns out we are NOT related. It's a dirty paradigm. The meeting with space went very well. We are one and the same. It's just I do the talking. Space is just so, so, so, so... Spacey.

- Kevin, here. Who are you people? This is a shitty script. I'm going back to rehearsal. Oh, before I go: sorry about K-PAX. Big mistake, Jeff Bridges though...I mean, c'mon. Class act.